Written by Lauren Gay when she was 15-years old:

Good Night Lauren, Sweet dreams. I Love you! He said to me night after night. His love never wavered.

My father... Stephen James Gay, son of two, brother of seven, husband to one, father of three, lover of all. Dad. Words can barely do justice to a man as beautiful as he. Honesty,
Understanding, and Love.  Ideals of a dignified man. He wore his colors well.

Campfires. All the family gathered around, loving each other. Beautiful Dad, sitting there his eyes aflame with love, sharing his stories, form hitchhiking, bee watering, working on the railroad, and even meeting the blob and every other horror story character out there. But even when telling stories of himself it was never really about him.  What he could do to make us happy was what made him happy.

Waking up in the morning was one of the things my dad treasured most. Living that day with the people he loved, being able to share any and all experiences with his beloveds.  Living, Loving, and being Loved.  Just that was enough for him to spring out of bed early in the morning to start the day with fervor.

Lauren!!  How many eggs do you want??

Mmm... poached eggs on a Sunday morning, searching through the newspapers, coupons and sales...oooo!  Breyers buy one get one free!  We're off, filling the freezer. I don't know if Natural French Vanilla with a slice of Nana made apple pie will ever taste quite the same. Delicious none the less.

I remember so much and at the same time it feels like so little, all of the times we've argued over who's turn it is to take out the dog, Dad would step in, always a little disappointed at our inability to just work as a team, help one another out, step up to the plate. That's one of the things my father loved most.  Teamwork.  Getting a job done with a little help from our friends.

My father saw the love in everyone, he hated it when people were mean or angry.  Meanness to him was a waste. And really what a waste it is.  If we could all just change the anger and cruelty to love and caring what a beautiful place we could all live in.  My father has found that place, filled with all the love and beauty one could ever ponder.

He rarely, if ever, told us to believe in ourselves, that always went without saying.  But he always believed in us, in everything we did. Whether it was getting into the high school of our choice, playing football, or even making it through the next dentist appointment.

He was so proud of us. He told us on so many occasions. So proud. I never quite understood why, and I still really don't.  But looking at Claire and at Kevin you can just feel his love and energy beaming off of them.

As hard as not having dad with us, in person that is, it couldn't have been any harder on anyone than it was on him.  He loved us all too much, he never wanted to bring any pain to any of us. But he went through everything so bravely, accepting everything that was to come, wishing only that we didn't have to suffer. And it is that, that we will remember about my father. Not his leaving but courage and ever lasting presence.

His love which flowed from him as a river. Unconditional, strong, beautiful. Never to be forgotten. Always cherished.

Good Night Dad, Sweet dreams, I love you.

(A beautiful eulogy by Steve's daughter, Lauren Gay.  May 15, 2003)

 

 

 

 

 

Obituary for Stephen J. Gay (May 15, 2003)

Beloved husband of Pamela A. (nee Grabowski) Gay; dearest father of Lauren R. Gay, Claire M.Gay, and Kevin J. Gay; beloved son of Sophie and the late John Gay; dearest brother of John (Wendy), brother Brian Gay, sister Maryann (Don) Wood, brother Mark Gay, sister Ellen Higgins, brother Tim (Grace) Gay, and sister Karen (Chris) Lada.

 

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